It was the best of Jersey and the worst of Jersey...

Tinton Falls, NJ... Home of... well, let's see. Home of discount shopping as one local called it. An otherwise beach-worthy day was being ransacked by tropical storm Danny (later demoted to tropical depression Danny whatever that means). So it was, that on Saturday afternoon, CME and I found ourselves wandering from store to store, fascinated by all the pretty things and sucked into the giant, consumer-grinding machine.

After closing the outlet mall, we were famished. The choices near the Marriott where we were staying for night were Applebee's and a local joint called Redheads. The front desk clerk told us she thought Redheads is great, and we like to support local businesses, so off we went.

Earlier this evening, CME asked, 'So, how do you write about one of the worst meals you've ever eaten?'

I still don't know, but it's near midnight, and this digital Cinderella is about to turn into a pumpkin. So, here it is, as briefly as I can make it, why our dinner at Redheads was one of the top ten worst meals I have ever eaten:

• A suspicious bottle of bad red wine that had been uncorked before it arrived at our table.
• Crab stuffed mushrooms that were undercooked button mushrooms with unseasoned canned crab meat smothered in tasteless cheese.
• Soggy nachos served with tiny plastic cups of runny salsa and something green that may or may not have been made from avocados.
• Ginger salad without much ginger.
• Sushi rolls with mushy rice, indistinguishable fillings and strange-looking white seaweed around the edges.
• Ear-splitting house music with base you could feel in your teeth meant for dancers who had not yet arrived when we sat down.
• The waitress who kept coming by to see if we would like anything wrapped up because we clearly ordered too much food.
• Fighting our way through a cologne-infused crowd to get out the door.
• The food, did I mention the food was terrible?
  

Environmental clues that may have tipped us off prior to sitting down to order:

• The sign at the door stating the cover charge, which was less for ladies than for men.
• The empty dance floor complete with roving lights.
• The bar with a section of mirrored shelving lit in hot pink.
• The sushi bar in the middle of a restaurant that looked like it might otherwise just serve bar food.
• The eclectic menu.
• The fact that we were in the suburbs across the street from a major chain hotel.
  

At least we had a bottle of somewhat drinkable wine.

This, my friends, is a lesson I have learned before. It is rare to find a restaurant that can successfully offer different taste genres and do it well. Is that harsh? Judgmental? Show me an exception, and I will buy your dinner.

CME and I rolled back to the Marriott, buzzed and feeling rather toxic. We reminisced along the way about the wonderful lobster mac and cheese we had for lunch at Langosta Lounge in Asbury Park. Langosta Lounge also has a variety of cuisine from different parts of the world. Thankfully, they do quite a better job than Redhead's at least with the items we ordered. The Cuban fried olives are rather delicious, and the Caesar salad was also nice.

The muddled pineapple and jalapeno margarita had too much margarita mix in it, but it came with one of those cute little mermaids clinging to the rim of the glass. CME's actually fell in and all seemed lost, but a few heroic measures brought her back from the pineapple drudge.

Clearly, I have had too much sun. The storm broke this morning, and though the surf was dangerous, we baked ourselves on the beach. At lunch, we had a taste of local Jersey tomatoes on a panini at Beach Bar where we also sipped Bloody Mary's and watched the crazy surf. If you live anywhere near New Jersey, go find yourself a local tomato. They should not be missed!

Stay tuned! More adventures to come!