The Lost Art of Being Present

"I'm going to come down on the old-fashioned side of this and say, 'Just turn off the cellphone when you're at the cocktail party or when you sit down for your dinner date or business meeting.' And then if there's something [important] in the offing... excuse yourself to the men or ladies room 20 minutes in and check." ~ Philip Galanes, NY Times advice columnist, who appeared earlier this week on NPR's Fresh Air with Terry Gross

When Philip Galanes said it, I whispered a tiny hallelujah. I took a sip of the delicious martini I had just made (properly with cold olives) and thought, 'It's nice to know, I'm not the only one.'

I've silently had my fancy panties in a bunch for quite some time over what I like to think of as technology-enabled breaches of etiquette in the gastronomic realm. Simply put--too many people split their attention between their cell phones and their table-mates when out for drinks or dinner. And frankly, it's just bad manners.

You know me, ladies and g's. I'm no Emily Post. If there are multiple forks on the table, I'm confused. But using the wrong utensil says merely, "I'm not schooled in the ways of opulence." Taking a call, checking email or sending a text at the table says, "Neither you nor the drinks/food we are enjoying are really worth my time and attention."

Yes. It does.

And it's not just those active uses of the phone; it's the act of placing the phone on the table just in case. The phone is sitting there waiting... waiting for what? A message, a call, an email or a text that might be more important or more interesting than the moment you are sharing with me, than the food you are eating, than the drink you are sipping.

I know that I will sound like a curmudgeon when I say it, but here it is... the phone is disrespectful not just to the people you are with, but to the food on the table. It takes a great amount of energy, resources and time to bring a meal to the table. The least we can do is to be present while we enjoy it and give those we are with our full attention.

I'll confess that I have been guilty of pulling out my phone to take notes, snap a photo, or show someone a picture of my niece. I've decided to skip the photos, which never turn out so well, and to go back to old fashion notes. I am hereby boycotting the act of looking at my phone for any reason once stepping into a gastronomic establishment. 

I hope that you join me. Of course, this also means that I have to replace the battery in my watch for those rare occasions when I need to know the time. But, I promise only to look at it during discreet moments--perhaps when you are in the bathroom checking your messages.