The Shake of the Lamb's Tail
‘Well folks, we might have a nuissancy type bump now and again... and then again. But, we’ll have you there in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. That's the bad and the good...’
Did the pilot really just say that?
And the woman in front of me nearly just crushed my laptop screen (and my knee caps) reclining her seat . Not to the mention the guy sharing my row can’t sit still. Arm rest up. Arm rest down... Tray table up, tray table. Sweatshirt on, sweatshirt off...
I hate flying, and I’ve had a really rotten day.
So, when the pilot says, let us know if there is anything we can do to make your flight more enjoyable, I want to stand up and shout, ‘ You can get me a damn cocktail! That’s what you can do!’
But of course, they don’t really mean that, you know. When they say let us know if there is anything we can do, they really mean, ‘I have to say this for good PR, but we just want you to sit there and be quiet and not cause any trouble or do anything crazy like demand a cocktail immediately.
Which of course would make me sound like the lush I am. I used to think people who drank on planes had alcoholic tendencies. Ha!
But these are circumstances.
And the drink cart is way up there, and I am seated in the back.
Of course, by the time this is published I will be on the ground... one drink down. The moment will have passed. And, you might wonder where are the chili recipes, and what about those fabulous cocktails? You might say, you can’t just post photos of your goofy jack-o-lantern and leave us hanging.
And, you are correct. But tonight, you will have to cut me some slack. Because I am on a plane behind a rude woman, next to a twitchy guy. And because it’s Halloween, my favorite holiday, and I have had a rotten day.
So, now my friends, I will leave you to sip my vodka soda.
I am putting the head phones on, selecting the podcast of 'Wait, Wait... Don’t Tell Me' from yesterday and closing my eyes. Because I just can’t take it any more. All I can do is sit and wait for that little lamb to shake its tail a time or two... now and again.
‘Well folks, we might have a nuissancy type bump now and again... and then again. But, we’ll have you there in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. That's the bad and the good...’
Did the pilot really just say that?
And the woman in front of me nearly just crushed my laptop screen (and my knee caps) reclining her seat . Not to the mention the guy sharing my row can’t sit still. Arm rest up. Arm rest down... Tray table up, tray table. Sweatshirt on, sweatshirt off...
I hate flying, and I’ve had a really rotten day.
So, when the pilot says, let us know if there is anything we can do to make your flight more enjoyable, I want to stand up and shout, ‘ You can get me a damn cocktail! That’s what you can do!’
But of course, they don’t really mean that, you know. When they say let us know if there is anything we can do, they really mean, ‘I have to say this for good PR, but we just want you to sit there and be quiet and not cause any trouble or do anything crazy like demand a cocktail immediately.
Which of course would make me sound like the lush I am. I used to think people who drank on planes had alcoholic tendencies. Ha!
But these are circumstances.
And the drink cart is way up there, and I am seated in the back.
Of course, by the time this is published I will be on the ground... one drink down. The moment will have passed. And, you might wonder where are the chili recipes, and what about those fabulous cocktails? You might say, you can’t just post photos of your goofy jack-o-lantern and leave us hanging.
And, you are correct. But tonight, you will have to cut me some slack. Because I am on a plane behind a rude woman, next to a twitchy guy. And because it’s Halloween, my favorite holiday, and I have had a rotten day.
So, now my friends, I will leave you to sip my vodka soda.
I am putting the head phones on, selecting the podcast of 'Wait, Wait... Don’t Tell Me' from yesterday and closing my eyes. Because I just can’t take it any more. All I can do is sit and wait for that little lamb to shake its tail a time or two... now and again.
Thinking of you, Chris. A fine day here in Champaign until we got a phone call that made it a bad day here too. xoxox
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